Friday, January 25, 2013


I really want to do mission work in Africa or overseas somewhere or just foreign places where their life is very different from my own. Especialy with children and women.

I pray I don't let this dream die.
I will give it to God and place it in His hands, and who knows...
if He wants it to happen it will.


Thursday, January 17, 2013


I am changing a lot lately. From the inside-out. It is good. 

Now that I am working in the school-age room every day there is such a new sense of the importance and significance of my job.  We have 42 kids with three teachers. There is just this huge sense of how important it is for me to be "all there" inside of me. Working from either 7 or 7:30am to 5:30pm every day (with some days having a few hours break to go to my two classes that are not online) makes it even more important for me to really take care of myself and make sure I am "all there."

There are new feelings in me. Feelings of it just being good to be alive. all the time. Loving that all I do is just between me and God.

I know that in all these feelings and changes, it's really not me. It's not me popping out of bed thinking, "I gotta get myself ready to get out that door and get there early and 'all in' to love on those kids." It's not me thinking constantly "Work. I'm lovin' it..." It's not me that has the ability to not feel tired or unhappy or anything like that but instead feel THANKFUL that I get to have a job like this---a job where I really make a difference. Where every interaction with the kids can really make a difference. Where every time I go, my spending time with, showing appreciation toward, taking interest in, and talking about Jesus with, can make a difference in my coworkers, children's parents, and children's lives... It's not me who is becoming more excited about the way I am serving God and the way I get to love on kids than anything else... It's not me just wanting to love on family and friends and spend time with them in every bit of free time outside of work... It's not me doing any of this or being able to do any of it or having the strength and courage to do it again and again despite my mistakes and things that have gone wrong the day's not me doing any of this, changing me from the inside-out, but God. 

I know how selfish I am!!!! 
This is truly not me at all, but Jesus inside me.

 God is good.
I am blessed.
blessed to love.

blessed to be loved the way I am.
thankful for Jesus, and in need of Him completely.
He is patient and merciful.
way too patient with a child like me.

Monday, January 7, 2013


just a tiny glimpse of us.


my heart for Him

His heart for me:

the entire Bible.
including all of Song of Songs
and His death in my place on the cross

what He wants me to do...

"You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me."
-Psalm 63

"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."
-Isaiah 61:10

The One who won't give up on me deserves this from me. to not give up. to give Him my whole heart. 
to let Him be my all. to let Him romance me. To earnestly seek Him and His romance.
 to live for Him and Him alone and to not give up. 
He gives His all when I never give more than a little bit .
His love is amazing.

 "As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So your God will rejoice over you."
-Isaiah 62:5