I need Him.

I'm not alright.
I'm seriously broken inside.
Filled with sadness that I just can't shake off.
Depression.
Hurt and pain.

...But I am thankful. It's in this horrible, uncomfortable, scary place where the need becomes deeper. Bigger. Wider.

I NEED HELP.
I need to be held.
I need to be whispered, "It's okay. Everything is going to be alright. God's love is GREATER. You have Heaven to look forward to. It's okay. God is good. God is with you. God is holding you."

I need what this world can NOT give.
I need JESUS.
His beautiful whisper,

"It's okay. Do not fear. I love you. You are beautiful to Me. I am everything you need. I will protect you."

Thank You Jesus.
Thank You for answering my prayer.
For bringing me to my weakness so that You are all I have to cling to.
Thank You for moving me closer and closer to You.

Even if this is incredibly painful, I am safe in Your arms.

"Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace"